I ask my self whats going on?

Im desprate for changes.
an illusionist is making a dance with his hands, he smiles mystiriously, looking straight into my soul and in my head he sees music and he tricks me to feel glad.
The darkness of my heart and blood is far to black, to allow it.
His little tricks makes me tick, Im really angry that he makes me feel like this.
Im a whannabe fashist.
But i dont whant to loose the true meening of love.
to sacrifice your self for the greater good, for somebody weaker, who ever you are and where ever you are i will try for you!
I dont whant do this for me.
Walking back and fourth so they dont get bored, thinking of a way to get rid of my opposit.

I wish somebody was here to check my back.